| The Belly Pat |
[Dec. 22nd, 2006|09:11 am] |
There's something I feel as if I need to discuss with all of you. For most of my teenage life, and now into my twenties, I've been dealing with an issue. All of my young adult life, I've been a victim of what I'd like to call, "the belly pat." Now, hopefully at least one person out there can relate to what I am about to discuss. If not, I can only hope to educate the uneducated in this matter.
Before I go any further, I would like to say, for the record, that I in no way think I am fat. I'm definitely out of shape, and it shows, but I am comfortable with myself. With that being said, I'd like to point out, if it was not obvious already, that I have quite a GUT going. A belly, if you will. The shirts that I wear are a little on the 'tighter' side. Am I painting a good enough picture for you? I can only hope so. With the tight shirt and the gut, I have the two major ingredients to fall victim to the belly pat.
The belly pat can basically be identified in a few different scenarios. Let me explain:
The belly pat can be used as a simple "Hello." Instead of a handshake, a hi-five, a hug, or a Fonz-esque fingerpoint, sometimes, people feel the need to go straight for the stomach. It could be in the form of a punch, or just a little tap - but either way, it's the sender's way of saying "Hey, what's up?"
Or, my least personal favorite, the fake-gut-punch-for-a-laugh combination. It might happen when you least expect it, or, you may see it coming a mile away. In my experience, the fake-gut-punch-for-a-laugh combo usually happens when myself and another individual are passing each other in a hallway - the person will go in for a shot at my stomach, and then stop at the very last second. I'm not sure if this is supposed to be humorous, but it's not. It only makes me tense up for a split second, and then hate that person a little more.
The FGPFALC is also common at shows. I think it's because the setting calls for some kind of non-verbal flirting method. I'm not sure. The loud music seems fitting for this move. Loud music or not, I hate it.
So is this just me? Am I the only one who is a little irritated that my stomach is used as some kind of community bongo? You're not going to feel a baby kick or anything.
Is it that when people see me, there eyes are drawn to my stomach? Now I think I know how women feel. My stomach is a lot like a woman's breasts, apparently. Somehow, attention is drawn to my gut. I'm up here, guys. Take a picture - it'll last longer.
I'm sure pregnant women can attest to my concern. I'm not sure they really want their stomach touched unless they ask you to.
So my last question is this: is this really the best way we can communicate with each other? Does it take making me feel uncomfortable to communicate? Pat me on the back. Shake my hand. Please, unless you're my doctor searching for a swollen spleen, don't touch my stomach.
And no, please don't be that person who touches my stomach just because you think I'll find it funny that you read my blog and decided to test some irony. It won't be funny |
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| The Goonies |
[Oct. 25th, 2006|11:16 pm] |
There is something I need to say to all of my friends:
I am about to reveal something about my life that I'm quite ashamed of, and I am allowing everyone to re-evaluate our friendship and decide whether or not you would like to continue a friendship with me or, should you decide otherwise, we can terminate our friendship...and honestly, I wouldn't blame you for choosing the latter.
I have been living a lie since 1985. At the age of two, I witnessed the birth of a cult-classic that would sweet my generation in the years to come. Something happened that became a staple to young adult life, and I missed out.
I'm talking of course about The Goonies. All of my friends quoted it, and until today, no one had any idea that I had never seen the movie. I'm disappointed in myself, because I never let anyone know that I had no idea what they were talking about.
And here is the worst part, where your friendship evaluation begins - I LIED ABOUT SEEING THE MOVIE. For some scenarios, it was simply laughing at Goonies lines being quoted, but sometimes, I would be doing the quoting! Sometimes, a character's name would come up in conversation, and I would agree with whatever was said, like "Dude, that kid over there TOTALLY looks like Chunk." I figured out who Chunk, Sloth, Data, and Mouth were from other people. In Forever Changed, Ben and Dan would do their 'mic-checks' saying different character names, and I would just laugh along and encourage them. We even listened to the Goonies Soundtrack in our van. I would lie about remembering which songs played during different scenes in the movie.
Why did I lie about this? It seems bizarre, I know. No one had any idea that I was living such a secret life. I was too scared to hear people's reactions to someone who had never seen such a great movie. I finally built up the courage a few months ago to tell my girlfriend, Allison and my roommate, Garrett. They were displeased, to say the least, but they were willing to get help for me.
I have been reminded that everyone has that one movie they have never seen, but should have seen. My roommate has never seen the "Ace Ventura" movies, and another close friend, who has requested to remain anonymous, has never seen the Back To The Future trilogy. But still, these people are one step above me, because I made efforts to make people believe I had seen the Goonies.
It took me twenty-one years to see the movie. I finally watched it last week. I can finally let go of my fears of a lost childhood, and I have become a man. The real world is a scary place, but I think I am finally ready for it.
And I finally figured out who "Data" is. The other character names made sense. Data is most definitely my favorite. Him and his little gadgets and his foreign accent.
Take this blog however you see fit. If you have any questions or concerns, please don't hesitate in telling me. If you'd like to terminate our friendship, well, I might just deserve it. But instead, maybe we should all take this time and think about movies we should have seen by now, but have never watched.
Thank you,
Nathan |
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| Don't Call it a Comeback |
[Sep. 21st, 2006|08:58 am] |
Because Jay-Z, Celine Dion, Family Guy, KISS, Cher, Ross Perot, and Michael Jordan just couldn't stay away either...
...I'm back.
Hello friends and journalers, it's been a little while. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 5th, 2005|01:54 pm] |
i have not updated in over one month.
i have not taken a polaroid picture in the past six weeks, and therefore, i have no photographs to upload and post. i have run out of dollars-per-photo.
...and come to think of it. i don't have much to say at all. i'm sorry if you were looking for something more. i could write another 'funny road trip story fully equipped with a picture for proof' entry, but no. i'm just not feeling it. i enjoy reading some of my friends' entries, but i'm slowly becoming bored of the "today i ate a sandwhich and it was really great, and that movie with that new hot actor and that new hot soundtrack is way cool. i bought the dvd.." entries.
those entries usually being, my entries. i make good sandwhiches, okay?
my friends, this could very well be the end. maybe a few more posts will trickle in. and i know that it's been said in the past and nothing has been done of it, but this really, truly, could be the last livejournal post for me. i'm not really sure what my motives are for writing here. i have other sources for 'journaling' by most people's standards. i write in here so other friends can read what i write, but my own writing doesn't seem all that authentic to me anymore, and i wind up becoming a little ashamed of some of my entries.
it's not that i think livejournal stinks. i just stink at being a livejournalerererrrurr.
i have a feeling i'll be saying this about my super-rad myspace account in a year or so. good riddance. anything to get me to cut down on how much i'm on the internet. more time outside. it's a very nice day, here.
most of you i communicate in some other form other than livejournal. i would really enjoy keeping in touch with everyone that is on this thing. just not on here. we can be pen-pals if you'd like via email or pony express.
oh yes, my friends. the days of run-on sentences and lack of capitalization are coming to a close. so long and farewell. it feels like graduation day...or being expelled from school. either way, sign my yearbook with a comment. here's one for you all:
HAGS
nathan "the bear" lee
nathan@hardcorechristian.com
ps - 'HAGS' means 'have a great summer' for those of you who have never written in a yearbook in your entire life on this earth. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 2nd, 2005|11:25 am] |
before i even start, there's something i have to admit.
something that could potentially ruin the friendship between me and you, the reader. whoever you are.
i'm not quite sure how to say this, so let me just dive right into it. last night, azuree and i were on the phone enjoying a nice conversation. and then....we started downloading and listening to Korn songs. i'm not sure how it happened. it just did. okay? if you don't want to be my friend anymore, i understand. it was nice knowing you. life is peachy.
----------------------------------------------
touring was great. went to new york city. hated it. urinated in public. met matt pinfield. met a bum in michigan who came to our show and danced during the ENTIRE set. got bronchitis. slipped and fell in the snow. saw niagra falls. KRISTEN, MARIA, AND COLLEEN! watched my first episode of OC and enjoyed it. skyline chili. watched he is legend and classic case every single night. high kicks with schuylar. took shots of whipped cream.
you know, just usual touring stuff.
i have photographs!
i represent queens, she was raised down in brooklyn.
( want more? ) |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 1st, 2005|07:55 pm] |
cody jordan directed a music video! i'm so proud of my cody, you have no idea. seriously. i love him. and you should, too, if you don't already.
this is really random, but does anyone own a copy of "even so" by the band Lewis? i lost mine and i miss it so much, but not enough to spend $12 on it online. can anyone help me out? i just want to listen to it again.
oh, and i freaking saw Keane the other night with miss ashli edwards, the smartest woman alive. it was incredible.
oh, and cracker barrell. enough said.
Green Beans!
Biscuits & Gravy!
chapstick update: i thought my world was coming to an end when i lost ANOTHER stick of burt's beeswax, but i wound up locating it hidden in my drawer. so far so good. i'm hoping to complete my first ever tube of lip balm. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 27th, 2005|01:33 am] |
another Chuck Norris connection to the President
we're in good hands, people. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 18th, 2005|11:23 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | turkey & gravy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | a farewell to arms - questions with no answers | ] |
i've never completed an entire tube of chapstick. ever. in my entire life. i'll buy one, use it twice, and misplace it. sometimes i'll accidentally leave the chapstick at home, so i wind up buying more chapstick. at any given time, i'll have a couple tubes in my drawer. i'd say in my entire lifetime thus far, i've spent about $13,529 on chapstick. this expense could have been brought down to $0.59 if i could just learn to use an entire tube.
which is exactly what i'm doing now. i'm about halfway through my burt's bees lip balm...and there's no stopping me. i'm so close to the end i can taste it.
does anyone else go through this?
i had more to write, but i'm stuck on the issue. chapstick is ruining my life one tube at a time. sometimes i wish i just didn't have lips. |
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| photos - because sometimes you just can't make good conversation |
[Jan. 9th, 2005|11:14 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  tired | ] |
| [ | music |
| | modest mouse - blame it on the tetons | ] |
this weekend was crazy weird. amazingly fun. we played two georgia shows and brought a girlfriend, a wife, and a hobbit along for the ride. eight people in a van will make you go a little crazy...
so we blew bubbles to pass the time. the crazy bubbles you make with dollar general toys that are flammable and hazardous to your health.
ladies and gentlemen, i give you...Bubble Town (Est. 2005 - Mayor, Nathan Lee)
i think nick got a contact buzz from all the fumes.
but let me tell you, an unknown ninth member of the van was along for the trip. oh yes, mr. intestinal flu. he decided to 'train-hop' through tom's stomach and hang out in mine as well. we were both very sick friday. lots of disgusting things happened. and i'm sure you'd like to read nothing about it.
( so instead, i'll post more polaroids, mostly from new year's weekend. ) |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 4th, 2005|10:46 pm] |
wow, ashlee simpson. wow.
quite possibly the best football halftime show i've ever seen. |
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